Save from an occasional drop, we try our damndest to keep our precious phones out of harm's way, which is why torture tests like Smape's of the ZN5 are so painful to watch. This particular "survival guide" (their term, not ours) is pretty extreme, too, starting with a cushy stay in the freezer but progressing to a brutal tumble in a 500 RPM dryer, a thorough sandblasting, a sound crushing courtesy of a luxury SUV, and the obligatory dip in a hearty, delicious ale. The whole thing reads like a what's-what of things not to do with your phone, but hey, better their ZN5 than yours -- and we're sure it was a blast to actually perform some of these "tests."